Recently, I had a dream, and in it, I was headed towards a houseboat on a raft loaded up with fuel tanks, fearing that when they hit, everything would explode. But just in the nick of time, the coastguard comes and saves me, preventing the explosion. He says to me, "You are going to have to swim back. I am going to help you, but its going to hurt." After that he jerks me to the bottom of the ocean and lets go, and I float up to the exact right spot with little effort or swimming on my part. It was freaky, but it worked.
I am always amazed that as hard as I try, I can never seem to do things right. Why am I so surprised that I can never be good enough? My heart can be as good as gold, my intentions pristine, but in the process I always seem to hurt other people and mess things up. Why? Because I am deceived. I think I can do it alone.
The truth is that I am always headed for explosion. My righteousness is but filthy rags and when I want to do good, evil is always right there. You see, in the dream, I was where I was because I was trying to steer the raft myself and missed the tugboat that would take my fuel to the right place. I am hellbound in my own ways. I want to do good, but it never seems to come out right. I hurt other people.
Filth. Wretchedness. Sinner. Hellbound. Explosion. Tainted. Destruction.
Holiness. Mercy. Savior. Grace. Savior. Purity. Salvation.
Though it hurts, Lord, I will trust you.
2 comments:
Awesome. I love when the Lord talks through dreams. For some reason it seems to hit the heart especially deep. I think because it's like a conversation between just the two of you. What a blessing for you to get this insight!
That's cool.
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